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Everybody, Somebody, Anybody & Nobody

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

The Sentence

A teacher said:
"Mary, I'd like you to give me a sentence beginning with 'I', please." 
Mary thought for a few seconds and then said:
"I is..." 
The teacher interrupted her and said:
"No Mary, you cannot begin a sentence with 'I is' - you must use 'I am'." 
Mary looked upset and said:
"But Miss..." 
The teacher shouted:
"Give me a sentence beginning with 'I am',
Mary shrugged her shoulders and said:
"I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

English is a Funny Language

English Is A Funny Language

No wonder the English language is so very difficult to learn. I sometimes wonder how we manage to communicate at all!

We'll begin with a box and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.

The one fowl is a goose but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may found a lone mouse or a whole set of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why should not the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural wouldn't be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats and not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say Mother, we never say Methren,

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim,

So English, I fancy you will all agree,
Is the funniest language you ever did see.

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