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What begins with T, ends with T and has T in it? - A teapot!
What odd number becomes even when beheaded? - Seven (S/even)!
What has four wheels and flies?
A trash truck!
What part of the body has the most rhythm?
What's the longest word in the English language?
Smiles, because there’s a mile between the first and the last letter.
What did the traffic lights say to the car?
Don't look now. I'm changing!
What animal can jump higher than a house?
A house can't jump!
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no-body to go with!
Why are Saturday and Sunday strong days?
Because they are not weekdays!
Teacher: Why are you late to school?
Kevin: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Kevin: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
Where do cows go for entertainment?
They go to the moooovies…
- Where did your mother come from?
- Don't bother. I'll ask her myself.
How many men were born last year?
None. Only babies were born.
Who succeeded the first Prime Minister of Australia?
How do you cut the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw!
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What does a humanitarian eat?